"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."
"Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”."
"People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House."
"My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."
"I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out."

"Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."