> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

>

>Smart man + smart woman = romance

>Smart man + dumb woman = affair

>Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

>Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

>______________________________

>OFFICE ARITHMETIC

>

>Smart boss + smart employee = profit

>Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee =

>promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

>_____________________________

>

> SHOPPING MATH

>

>A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

>A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

>_____________________________

>

>GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

>

>A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

>A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

>A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

>A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

>_____________________________

>

>HAPPINESS

>

>To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a

>little.

>To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to

>understand her at all.

>______________________________

>

>LONGEVITY

>

>Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot

>more willing to die.

>______________________________

>

>PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

>

>A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

>A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

>_____________________________

>

>DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

>

>A woman has the last word in any argument.

>Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

>_____________________________

>

>HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts

>used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,

>telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same

>thing to them at funerals.